Tips For Parenting Teenage Boys
  • Respect your son’s integrity and his authority over his own life.
  • Have faith that whatever you want to tell your son, you have told him already and he will remember it when the time comes.
  • Offer help with an open hand.
  • Try offering help in the form of a question.  “Would you like…?” or “How can I help?”
  • Be responsible and manage your own helplessness and fear without imposing it on him.
  • Never offer advice without asking permission first.
  • Tell your son “I love you. I am proud of you. I know you have what it takes. You are a wild man.”  Do this thousands different ways.
  • Be around not only physically, but also emotionally.
  • Walk your talk (i.e. if you want your son to be healthier, look at how you are taking care of your own health).
  • Be vulnerable.  Share some of your fears, worries, and uncertainties with him.
  • Admit when you are wrong and apologize frequently.
  • Be selfish.  Fill yourself up first prior to giving yourself away.
  • Always be cool and calm in the face of his distress, anger, or sadness.
  • Listen to your son even if he is yelling at you.
  • Say as little as possible in order to get your son to say as much as possible.
  • Use “I” statements.  Talk more about your feelings than his behavior.
  • Gauge your son’s mood prior to having tough conversations.
  • Drop everything you are doing if your son wants to talk to you.  This opportunity does not come frequently.
  • Let go of your pride (i.e. you don’t need to have the last word).
  • Focus on the 90% he is doing well instead of the 10% he is not.
  • THIS TIME WILL PASS! He won’t be a teenager forever.


 

 
Michael L. Stoller