Tips For Parenting Teenage Boys
- Respect your son’s integrity and his authority over his own life.
- Have faith that whatever you want to tell your son, you have told him already and he will remember it when the time comes.
- Offer help with an open hand.
- Try offering help in the form of a question. “Would you like…?” or “How can I help?”
- Be responsible and manage your own helplessness and fear without imposing it on him.
- Never offer advice without asking permission first.
- Tell your son “I love you. I am proud of you. I know you have what it takes. You are a wild man.” Do this thousands different ways.
- Be around not only physically, but also emotionally.
- Walk your talk (i.e. if you want your son to be healthier, look at how you are taking care of your own health).
- Be vulnerable. Share some of your fears, worries, and uncertainties with him.
- Admit when you are wrong and apologize frequently.
- Be selfish. Fill yourself up first prior to giving yourself away.
- Always be cool and calm in the face of his distress, anger, or sadness.
- Listen to your son even if he is yelling at you.
- Say as little as possible in order to get your son to say as much as possible.
- Use “I” statements. Talk more about your feelings than his behavior.
- Gauge your son’s mood prior to having tough conversations.
- Drop everything you are doing if your son wants to talk to you. This opportunity does not come frequently.
- Let go of your pride (i.e. you don’t need to have the last word).
- Focus on the 90% he is doing well instead of the 10% he is not.
- THIS TIME WILL PASS! He won’t be a teenager forever.